Thoughts on a carp anglers wadrobe.

Trewinkle had got a bit hard. Although it was mid January, there was still prolific weed in most areas of the lake. Add to this 17 fish in 40 acres, 127 Canadian Geese, millions of tufties, a ban on air rifles, more bream than you could shake a tambourine at, a two rod ruling, depths of up to 60 feet and you will realise that it was not the easiest of winter venues. Allied to this some bugger had super glued the combination lock on the gate so you had to carry your gear three miles across muddy fields to the nearest swim.

To get a bend in the old bamboo and to build a bit of confidence in the rigs and bait, Stoney Baker and myself decided to visit a near by runs water. And runs it was – right from the off. In the first couple of hours Stoney had 17 and I landed three. At 11.00 am we reeled in for a cup of tea and a fag and a bit of peace. We were talking about bait and rigs and loose women and bemoaning the fact that although we could both ensnare the odd specimen of Cyprinus Carpio the better examples of Homo sapiens crumpetius seemed to elude both of us these days. I nodded at a young whippersnapper opposite us, yet to be favoured by the carp Gods but resplendent in real tree boots, trousers, jacket, fleece, t shirt, hat, gloves and shades. He preened himself like a peacock as he strutted amongst the latest assorted paraphernalia of this carp game.

“Look at him Stoney. All that gear, the future of carp fishing to look forward to as well as a host of one night stands and two night sessions. Don’t you wish you were in his shoes?”

“No Gert I don’t. He’s caught bugger all and if he was any good at pulling the crumpet he would be in bed with one now instead of being here, freezing his nuts off with us two cynical old farts. What is more his dress sense is crap.”

Now this coming from Stoney was something else. He looked the picture of sartorial elegance in woolly hat and a jumper with more holes in than his landing net. His boots were bright yellow RNLI issue and the crotch of his red jogging bottoms was about two inches below his knees. He had recently dyed his hair a fluorescent pink and wore a white and blue, Blackburn Rovers scarf.

Stoney continued. “If you believe what is written by some of the famous carp anglers  in the magazines you would know that carp possess infra red vision. This means that they can differentiate between objects of different temperatures. Here we are at the lake where the air temperature is 5 degrees, the water temperature is 5 degrees and that silly sod over there is about 37 degrees. Do you really think all that camo gear is going to make a difference?”

Gert Louster,